The Positive Power Behind Asking "What If?"

From a very young age my mother instilled in me the mantra, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” I have always followed it, and therefore repeatedly and begrudgingly pushed myself out of my comfort zone. For me, this motto has always been tied to my need to avoid what ifs. I constantly was getting involved with new things in school regardless of how intimidated I was, because if I didn’t, then years down the road I would wonder, “What if?” “What if… I had tried out for the team; auditioned for that role; applied for that internship; had approached him first; had gone on that trip; had asked for help; had been honest with myself?” Asking these questions helped craft me into the well rounded and curious person I am today. However, many of these questions I asked myself in fear of regret and fear of missing out. So these actions were driven by fear and in turn I wasn’t gaining all I could from these experiences. They were driven by, “I should” rather than “I want.”

The problem with what ifs, is they are often an escape of the present. They are the first questions we ask ourselves when things aren’t going our way. We begin to ponder what life would be like if things were different. But rather than letting what ifs hold the power to control our happiness, we should use them as the power behind creating our own.

Instead of seeing this simple phrase as a present regret regarding the past, I see it as a window to my future. I now look at what ifs as opportunities that are mine if I want them. Knowing I can put all of my effort into something that seems right to me at the time is empowering. With passion behind my actions, the nerves may still be there, but the fear is gone. When applying for a job I can silence the, “What if I’m not qualified?” and “What if I hadn’t been so nervous?” with, “What if this is the perfect position for me to grow and succeed?” Additionally, by asking “What if?” as a way to envision the possibilities for the future, you will be able to filter out what it is that you are truly passionate about, because the fear will dwindle in the shadow of your potential.

With relationships, friendships, and social situations it may be scary to give one hundred percent when you don’t know what the outcome will be. But going into them with the best possible outcome in mind, you will come off as a more positive and happy person. If it doesn’t go the way you had hoped you may feel dumb or embarrassed or even hurt for a bit, but at least you’ll have the knowledge you gave one hundred percent, and find solace in knowing if you continue to put yourself out there, that effort will be reciprocated one day. And in times of disappointment it is beyond reassuring to know that you did everything you could that was in your control. The universe will take care of the rest.

There are things in life that are scary, especially for a twenty-something who is just trying to figure out life. Things are so uncertain and people enter and leave our lives unexpectedly, and we don’t know where we are going to end up. When things don’t work out the way we want them (which for many of us can seem to be quite repetitive), it is easy to want to hold back and put on the brakes. But by looking at every experience as a chance for greatness and happiness, you will uncover a strength you didn’t know you had. And then, even failure can become exciting because it means you’re on to your next adventure and that much closer to finding where and with whom you truly belong.